I know this could very well be fake, but it perfectly illustrates how even 5-year-olds can think for themselves when it comes to gods and religion. It just highlights the damage that religious brainwashing causes to children’s minds by stubbing out their natural curiosity and predisposition for critical thought.

Quoted from FMLife.com

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me “That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. You’re dumb.” FML

Christian quote on Town of Walker, Louisiana water bill

You think your water bill or other utility bills are outrageous? Wait until you see the ones they are sending out from the Town of Walker, Louisiana!

At first glance they look pretty much like any other water bill, until you get to the bottom, where it prominently says, and I quote, “NOTE: It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible!”

Impossible? WTF? I mean, why specifically God and the Bible? Why not Allah and the Koran, or The Flying Spaghetti Monster and the hilarious Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for that matter? Are those any worse than the Bible when it comes to rightly governing the world?

Tell me, Town of Walker! I want to know.

I could get started discussing who actually wrote the so-called ‘word of God’, and I’d never end if I had to tackle the merits of the Bible as an ideal book to govern the world by.

I could pull up a thousand quotes to show that the Bible is far from being an ideal book. I could be asking the good folks over at the Town of Walker, Louisiana if they think we should govern the world on the basis that women are inferior. I could ask the Town of Walker, Louisiana if they are suggesting we should stone our children to death when they disobey. I could ask them if they think that those who govern the world should go on a genocidal rampage against their enemies, as God has ordered time and again. I could ask them a thousand such questions, and have to listen to a thousand apologetic, evasive or circular arguments.

But I won’t, because there is a greater issue here. A much greater issue. What has a quote about God and the Bible ever got to do with a sodden water bill?

I’ll tell you what. It’s that all that some religious people think of is pushing their brainwashed beliefs down our throats at all costs, whenever they can, and in whatever way they can. They don’t care what you or I think. They don’t give a fuck. They know the ultimate truth, and that’s that.

Just that if you ask them why God and why the Bible, the answer you’ll get will most probably boil down to, ‘because God says so in the Bible’.

Way to go Town of Walker, Louisiana. Now all the world will know just what a backwater you are!

BTW. There’s a phone number and address on the water bill, in case you want to let them know what you think.   ; )

This sign about what to do if you encounter a mountain lion left me wondering what it would look like if it were written strictly according to advice found in the Bible. So, I did a little bit of research and designed a Christian mountain lion motivational poster based on what I found.

After the poster, you’ll find the Bible passages that I drew upon for inspiration. I chose to quote the King James Version because the old style is funky and, as you’ll see, it’s got unicorns in!

'Have faith in God' Motivational poster

Here is the explanation, together with Bible quotes:

1. Praise God and be filled with confidence. He put this mountain lion there on purpose to test your faith. Have faith in God and you will have no trouble approaching the mountain lion safely because God’s right hand will save you.

¹I will praise thee with my whole heart: before the gods will I sing praise unto thee.

²I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy loving kindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.

³In the day when I cried thou answered me, and strengthened me with strength in my soul.

⁴All the kings of the earth shall praise thee, O LORD, when they hear the words of thy mouth.

⁵Yea, they shall sing in the ways of the LORD: for great is the glory of the LORD.

⁶Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.

⁷Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.

⁸The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

Psalm 138

2. Actually, to be saved you have to ask first. Ask God to save you from the mountain lion by singing Psalm 22:21 over and over.

Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.

Psalm 22:21

3. If you have any children with you, begin to sacrifice them to God. If you don’t have a knife handy, you can try throwing them to the mountain lion. God won’t actually let you do it, but this act will prove to him just how strong your faith is.

¹⁰And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

¹¹And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

¹²And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

Genesis 22:10-12

4. Have faith in God and he will do as you ask and intervene to save you from the mountain lion and make sure you are unharmed.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Matthew 21:22

Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

Mark 9:23

That’s it! Now go home and pray to God to save the millions of sick and starving children all over the world with the same absolute faith that convinced him to save you from the mountain lion.

On the other hand, if you’re one of those who doesn’t believe in the Bible and you ever encounter a mountain lion (or any other kind of lion), good luck buddy. You’re on your own!

So, do you have enough faith to make this work? Got any better suggestions for dealing with a fierce mountain lion? Post a comment and let me know.