Have faith in God – Mountain lion motivational poster
This sign about what to do if you encounter a mountain lion left me wondering what it would look like if it were written strictly according to advice found in the Bible. So, I did a little bit of research and designed a Christian mountain lion motivational poster based on what I found.
After the poster, you’ll find the Bible passages that I drew upon for inspiration. I chose to quote the King James Version because the old style is funky and, as you’ll see, it’s got unicorns in!
'Have faith in God' Motivational poster
Here is the explanation, together with Bible quotes:
1. Praise God and be filled with confidence. He put this mountain lion there on purpose to test your faith. Have faith in God and you will have no trouble approaching the mountain lion safely because God’s right hand will save you.
1I will praise thee with my whole heart: before the gods will I sing praise unto thee.
2I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy loving kindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.
3In the day when I cried thou answered me, and strengthened me with strength in my soul.
4All the kings of the earth shall praise thee, O LORD, when they hear the words of thy mouth.
5Yea, they shall sing in the ways of the LORD: for great is the glory of the LORD.
6Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.
7Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.
8The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.
Psalm 138
2. Actually, to be saved you have to ask first. Ask God to save you from the mountain lion by singing Psalm 22:21 over and over.
Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.
Psalm 22:21
3. If you have any children with you, begin to sacrifice them to God. If you don’t have a knife handy, you can try throwing them to the mountain lion. God won’t actually let you do it, but this act will prove to him just how strong your faith is.
10And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
11And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.
12And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.
Genesis 22:10-12
4. Have faith in God and he will do as you ask and intervene to save you from the mountain lion and make sure you are unharmed.
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Matthew 21:22
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
Mark 9:23
That’s it! Now go home and pray to God to save the millions of sick and starving children all over the world with the same absolute faith that convinced him to save you from the mountain lion.
On the other hand, if you’re one of those who doesn’t believe in the Bible and you ever encounter a mountain lion (or any other kind of lion), good luck buddy. You’re on your own!
So, do you have enough faith to make this work? Got any better suggestions for dealing with a fierce mountain lion? Post a comment and let me know.
Tags: believe, bible, christian, faith, funny, god, lion, motivational poster, mountain lion, unicorns
I tried this and it didn’t work.
Psalms is a song of praise, and of what has been done.
If the mountain lion is: “1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour”. Then yes God works in my life, and He will work for you also!
Good for you Mike! I’m glad you can overcome your fear of devils trying to devour you, whether these demons be real, imaginary or allegorical.
I’m not too sure about God working in my life though, but the good old Flying Spaghetti Monster (bless his noodly appendages) sure does his bit whenever I choose to settle down for some delicious Bolognese!
Well, If you had a brain..which we all can see you obviously don’t…then you would have quoted the chapters..inwhich explain the things that they say…
You said above you chose to use the “old version” because the other was to funky…
Thre is nothing funky about the Holy Bible…
If you need someone to explain it to your 5 year old brain…my suggestion is same as before go to a preacher…u don’t get what the bible is saying and that’s sad in itself..you choose to interpret it your own way…not the way it was meant to be interpreted…wow..what a sad lonely case you are…
Don’t delude yourself. The Bible can be interpred in so many ways because it is a collection of self-contradicting writings. You get to pick and choose what bits you want to adhere to, depending on whether you are a genocidal manaic or a peace-loving hippie. Actually, you are forced to choose in order to get around the contradictions.
Have you not forced yourself to see another point of view? to support your agnostic beliefs? The original poster of this blog did also. He interpreted it as literally as he could, in order to make it sound ridiculous. Is God, in all his wisdom, not allowed to use a metaphor? Could the “mountain lion ” not be symbolic for the lions we all face in our lives? The lions I have faced as a Marine have shown themselves. I stood fast, as god commanded abraham to do that day.
And I am still alive.
I will say that Dalina was rash and is an example of why us who are faithful to the one true Lord have the reputation we do.
And Dalina, there are plenty of funky things in the bible. For God’s sake, read Revelations.
Dog, plenty of people use religon to their own gains. Hitler and Bob Marley weren’t the only ones. The Shi’ite radicals claim they commit the acts they do for God.
Don’t let what radicals dissuade you from the truth. Anne Frank didn’t. She said;
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”
If Anne Franke, amidst the destruction of her own people, can retain her faith…
What’s stopping you?
Well said Mike
On the contrary, John. I seek the truth and choose to follow it wherever it may lead, unlike others who say they have found it in a collection of ancient writings, without substantiating their claims. The word ‘truth’ is not a little insignificant word to be bandied about like that!
And it is most interesting how you quote Anne Frank speaking about Judaism to support Christianity. That one sure did tickle me this morning
And finally, if a non-existant god should be allowed the use of metaphor, as you say, surely I can stake my claim to the right to use humor!
All I to say is that dog when you die I hope your body is absorbed by the earth and with your expired life force a tree is formed and that tree is harvested and the paper formed from that tree has biblical scriptures printed on it…not just biblical scriptures the little kid ones…maybe then you can grasp the metaphorical concepts better
Should your wishes be granted, it won’t make a difference to me. As for you, be careful lest the water you drink contain molecules that once formed part of a heathen’s waste products
To the “flying spagetti monster” poster, please cite your information. It’s Dane Cook. Don’t act as if you come up with that genius idea all by yourself. AND dog, maybe you can just be the pictures with the cool pictures on them.
Yeah Dog, be a picture with a cool picture on it. That way if we stare at you long enough, we will see the pirate ship. Arrrrr
RAmen
I would try to get in a better last word than Smokatronic, but I simply cannot. Therefore I will just quote Voltaire while giving props to Smokatronic.
“If people believe absurdities, they shall commit atrocities.” – Voltaire
“Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd, and bloody religion that has ever infected the world” – Voltaire
“If there is a religion that worships the sun, it is a safe bet that it’s a crime to study the laws of heat” – Voltaire
this whole website was a waste of time.
This picture insults everything i believe, 1 more comment that says worse things and i will spam the $hit out of this website
1 more thing, try and proove that there is no God, read the bible and prove to me that there is no God whatsoever. I’ve had enough
@A Believer in the True God: Do you realize that it is impossible to prove that something doesn’t exist? Try to prove that there is no Santa, fairies, elves, unicorns, or whatever you like and you’ll see what I mean. I presume that you don’t believe in any of those – not because you have disproved hem, but because you don’t think there is enough evidence for them. If you understand this, you will realize why so atheists think the way they do about god. And the Bible is not evidence of Yahweh or Jesus any more than the Koran is evidence of Allah, or the Hindu scriptures are evidence of that pantheon of gods.
The bible IS the word of God
1: Jews believe in the same god as Christians. So using Anne Frank is a perfectly valid argument
2: Dog has clearly read the Bible seeing as how he’s quoting it and all.
3: Saying “read the bible and you’ll see God exists” is dumb. Nobody who isn’t already a Christian would take anything away from the Bible other than exactly what dog has taken away and that’s a bunch of stories that don’t make sense.
4: The Bible is a long parable, if people took Jesus’ parable’s as literally as people these days take the Bible you’d have no christians just a bunch of farmers trying to figure out why Jesus came on earth to teach people that you don’t plant seeds on stone. That’s not the case because the people back then knew not to take it literally.
5: This argument is silly, everyone has their own beliefs and they’re there to help them find truth for themselves, if either side could prove their claims to the extent that it satisfies the other so if religious people could prove their religious is the one true religion to everyone else or vise versa if atheists could prove there’s nothing out there but space debris then these arguments wouldn’t go on for centuries spanning into war the simple fact that you believe something different from the other guy means that no neither of can prove your side.
6: As for my own beliefs i am a bridge between you both like Albert Einstein i believe there is a god, i also choose to believe in Jesus however i think christianity and catholics have perverted the image and idea of both and made them seem ridiculous to all. The worst part is that it keeps happening i read one of those little pamphlets the other day and it’s absolutely ridiculous so please to all the christians out there, if you’re reading the Bible please think about what you’re reading. If it doesn’t mean anything of value to you then stop reading it it’s not for you worship in a different way, if it speaks to you then congrats you’re doing it right go out and do some good. To all the atheists don’t go Bible bashing, it doesn’t harm you that others believe what they believe you’re just insulting them for nothing if someone tried to convert and you don’t wish to be converted simply, in a polite manner say to them: “i already have a religion thanks” and walk away. I am also very interested in physics and science in general but go ahead and try to explain the things out there in space which defy the laws of physics.
@Poopdy pupedy pants
In reply to point:
5.Just to be clear, only a small minority of atheists actually assert that no god exists. Most of us simply say that there is no compelling evidence that any kind of god does exist, and therefore no reason to believe in one. This is why (most) atheists don’t have to prove anything, like I said above. It’s the people who make extraordinary claims that have to come up with the extraordinary evidence to back them up.
6. You seem to be very open minded, so please just look around and you’ll see plenty of examples where religious beliefs cause harm. Just talk to any gay person for a start. Also, the laws of physics are there to describe observed phenomena as accurately as possible and are not set in stone. The beauty of scientific theory is that it is continually evolving as new discoveries come to light and phenomena that ‘defy’ the laws of physics, are the actually the driving force behind new theories.
k im sorry it was just the moment i was in, i was under a lot of stress lately and seeing that pic just burst my bubble, i would like to apologize to whoever i offended and im sorry.
I read through the comments finding myself laughing at some, angry at others and cringing at others.
As a believer myself it is so easy to get on a tangent when someone doesn’t agree with my beliefs. Natural human flesh just wants to retaliate, and most times, it’s in anger and PRIDE. The problem with this thinking is that it’s immature and infantile. Another negative issue that I see it that there are so many people that have given themselves the title of “Christian” (which means “Christ-like, imitators of Christ”) and yet do not portray the character nor the image of Christ. If, before we speak, allow our brains to digest what was about to come out of our mouths, we would find that people in general would have a far less crituing view of Christianity. It’s only because Christians have given Christianity a bad name!
It takes faith to live the way you are. My faith tells me that everything around me was created, by the spoken Word of an infinite, all-powerful God, and that He has enabled me, through His only begotten Son’s death and resurrection, to walk in His favor and blessing. To try and convince someone, that has no desire to listen, that what they believe is not right is impossible, without God’s leading.
You have faith to live the way that you do…someday we will find out that one of us was wrong, and one of us was right. Let’s hope that you are, because if I am it don’t look good for you!
Mark Lowry once said,
“I don’t have enough faith to be an athiest. I can’t even believe that if I were to take my watch all apart and put all the pieces into a bag and spin it in circles for thousands of years, that when I stop spinning the bag that the watch would be all back together and running, and on time!
Because I don’t have enough faith for that, I could never beleive, that when I look around me and see all the wonderful things, and even begin to ponder on the intricacies of how things are made and how they sustain life, that it just came together without a Divine Being putting it together.”
Stupid fucking theists.
Hey, if someone wants to believe in leprechauns, then they’re gonna believe in leprechauns, and nothing you’re gonna say is going to change their mind. Why waste your breath?
If you’re looking for evidence of God. It’s all there for you to see.
Jesus Christ died, then three days later he rose from the dead.
If you’re having trouble believing that then consider this.
In order to convict someone of a crime in a court of law you need witnesses.
The Bible contains the reliable testimony of many witnesses- far more than are needed to legally substantiate any claims.
If you doubt the sincerity of those witnesses consider their actions.
They stood to gain nothing from claiming Jesus had risen from the dead.
Many of them were tortured and even killed for making these claims.
If it wasn’t true- why would they continue to proclaim it in the face of social rejection, humiliation, floggings, imprisonment and execution?
There’s an awful lot of stuff in the Bible. In my opinion it is not the word of God- it is about the word of God. Jesus is the word made flesh.
Religion, bringing out the best…
*reads through comments*
…and worst in humanity.
If there is a God, then I have to believe they’re not so insecure as to care whether you had faith in them or not. I’m pretty sure they’d just be happy that you became a good person who didn’t wish ill on others upon a whim.
Atheists, greatest trolls. Evah.